José N.
Harris
What is it
that we are all lying, all the time? I don’t want to make an exception for
myself here, all I say is that I am trying to avoid lies, but I am sure I have
lied many times in my life, as we all have.
It seems as
if people want to be lied to, they enjoy the lies, it seems to me as if there
was an unspoken agreement that says we should lie whenever it is possible.
We lie all
the time, regardless of what we are talking about. We even lie to ourselves and
sometimes we even believe these lies. It seems as if a lie becomes the truth,
once it is told often enough.
I sincerely
try to tell the truth, or rather I tell what I think to be the truth, as no one
can ever be sure what the truth is. However, I have made the experience that
the truth is not what people want to hear. Nonetheless, I believe in being
honest, it is of value for me.
I really
don’t want to say that I am better than anyone, I am not, but this is my point
of view and I believe in it. I trust everyone until there is a reason that
proves this person should not be trusted, I believe in the good in people and I
believe that people tell me the truth, because I would tell them the truth,
especially when it comes to friends. Maybe I am naïve, but then be it so.
However, once I know about people telling me significant lies, it is hard for
me to forgive, it is hard for me to trust them ever again. Honesty and confidence
in someone belong together, I trust because I have faith in my friends, but
once the honesty is lost, the faith is lost, too.
What is the
point of inventing great stories about something that could be told in one
little candid sentence? I understand that people do lie sometimes in order to
not hurt someone. But if we are totally honest, most of the lies we tell are
told because it’s easier than telling the truth, because it seems to be more comforting
to ourselves.
First,
there are those lies we all agree upon. It’s when someone asks you how you are and
you tell him you are fine. You meet people in the street you have not seen for
many years, you are both busy and you both agree silently that you do not want
to hear of all the problems of the other person.
Then there
are the big lies, lies that are told because it is easier to tell them, because
we just don’t want to tell the truth, lies told in order to intentionally
deceive someone. Lies that we tell because we want to appear better, greater,
more successful than we are. Those are the
lies some people even seem to believe for themselves. Besides, there are also lies that are created to make
people believe in something that doesn’t exist and the creator knows about their
falseness but tells them anyway, lies that are told in order to achieve
something, lies that can even be told to a whole state.
Finally, there
are even false statements that are told for no apparent reason. They are absolutely
unnecessary and they are the reason making me believe that we are all just big
liars, that we enjoy the untruth. Why do we tell these lies? Is it because we
are afraid of being hurt if we were totally honest? Do we even recognize anymore
that we are being dishonest? Is there really an unspoken agreement in not
telling the truth? Why can’t we all try to be honest?
It is a difficult job to speak about Truth and her Twin.
ReplyDeleteWhen we started to get up from the ape state and found the falling Angels half way down,
we learned a small truth about Truth: she lives in a deep well and is not always available.
Falling Angels were so powerful that we, poor apes, could not ever dream to face them, so
we took refuge in Lie, she was so alike her sister, she was nice, available, and helpful;
we were vulnerable, and weak.
So, time etched a trail on our spirit and it will be invariable until the end of our era.
Qouting qoutes I seem to remember one of the Falled Angels, although there are not proof of this because he was in disguise as an ape, said:
Falsehood is invariably the child of fear in one form or another! Aleister Crowley
He should know.
Nobody likes lies, as no one likes aches, pains, or dismal feelings, but we live immersed into them.
We are taught not to lie because it is wrong, a sin, a fault against the nobleness of humankind, but sooner or later we will walk the old trail of lies since it is ingrained in our self.
Is it so because our vulnerability living in a hostile environment, or is it a sweet taste in our soul?
I do not know!
Probably a blend of them and of several other aromas.
Thank you for your comment, it makes me thoughtful...
DeleteI agree with most of what you say, although I think we should at least try to be honest, even though it may be hard sometimes. People try to be strong all the time, they want to overcome their fears, they want to reach more and more, but not concerning the truth, it seems.
It is sad when someone has to lie in order to make themselves something special or simply to be heard. I simply don't have time for liars. Once they have presented that they are a liar, everything they say to me has to be checked or taken with a pinch of salt.
ReplyDeleteWould you say that it is an accepted social norm when you exchange greetings to say "hello, how are you?' and the other person replies "I'm fine, thank you. There is no intent to deceive, and anyone within the culture would not take it as being a genuine insight at how the person is. It is usually during the same conversation that people then go on to say for example " I am feeling really ill right now" OR "I'm having a real bad day" etc etc.... (hope I explained this well).
And yes, there are the big lies and cover-ups which have disastrous outcomes and repercussions. The ones that affect people's lives, cost them their jobs and reputations. I loathe it all. There is always a root to the lies, but it is always far to deep for me reach in and root it out.
As I wrote above, lies are part of our lives.
DeleteWe may be truthful most of the time, but it seems we have the strain in our self.
I understand your loathing of lies, especially when in a close relationship. But I would not be so strict. There is always the human weakness to remember. I agree that once we uncover a lie, it is very difficult to accept the liar again. I, in a way like you, keep the person at an arm length, only there is not ill feelings against them, only mistrust. I almost pity them!
On BIG lies there are no way out, especially if it refer to the reputation or life of another human being! It is a hateful thing to do.
In a nut shell, I do not like lies, but I like less liars, even if I can understand this trait, which comes from we do not know where, but is living in us. Maybe the right thing would be to hate the sin, not the sinner, but it is difficult to separate one from the other.
I agree with both of you to some point.
DeleteIt is true that there is no intent to deceive when saying you're fine and it may be a an accepted social norm, so this is not exactly a lie.
It really seems as if we have it in ourselves and I do agree that lies are part of our lives, but I think this is not an excuse for liars!
When it comes to close friends, I can try to forgive little lies or sometimes even less little lies, but usually I am not able to trust these persons anymore once they lied to me many times. But I do also not have ill feelings against them, it is rather sadness and, as untony said, mistrust.
For the big lies, there is no excuse and I can not forgive those.
Maybe it would be the right thing, but, for me, it is nearly impossible to separate the sin from the sinner, as one comes from the other.
Thank you both for your comments and opinions!