Quote of the week #8

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.

Robert Cushing



We all have or had moments in our lives where we were unhappy about certain things, we wanted them to be different, we wanted change. But at the same time we are afraid of taking a risk. We think about the consequences, which is of course necessary. But don’t you think that sometimes you have to risk something? Do you rather choose the more comfortable way? Do you think of everything bad that could happen and then decide not to “jump in”? Or do you agree with what the quote says?

Today, I went through some of my old diaries, or whatever you can call them, as they were just books where I wrote down some of my thoughts before I had a blog. The oldest ones are from 2002 and contain just some very insignificant stories from a little child. But there are also more serious entries from the last years. While reading some of them, I realized that there have been a lot of changes during the last year that are mostly invisible for other persons. I have learned so much in this year.
Exactly a year ago I moved away from my hometown to begin with my studies at university. There were a lot people that tried to convince me it would be easier to not move away and to stay at my parents’ house. Besides, some people were saying I shouldn’t choose a Chinese course and instead learn another language because Chinese is too difficult to learn.
I thought a lot about it and I came to the conclusion that this one time I would do exactly what I thought would be the best for me and do what I wanted to do. I have never regretted once that I made this decision and I am glad to be responsible for myself. I knew it was not going to be easy, as my parents made very clear they wouldn’t support me if I moved away, nonetheless I am absolutely convinced it was the best decision I could make. Certainly, I’m having some hard times as well, especially when I have to pay my tuition fee, as I don’t get any financial support at the moment and it’s hard to find a job while being at university from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. most days. But it could definitely be worse. I mentioned in some earlier posts the difficult relationship to my family, so there was no way I could have been happy while still living there.
When reading my old diary entries, I can see that I really went through some personal growth this last year. I was surprised at how I have seen things before and how unhappy I was and I am happy I did something to change it.

And about Chinese, it turned out to be the course in which I have the best grades, as it is something I am really interested in.

There have been several moments in my life where I had to make the decision of taking a risk and try something I was afraid of because I have never done it before or because I knew it could be difficult. But whenever I chose to do it anyway, it turned out to be the right decision. Are these not the moments that make our lives exciting?

Do you rather like to choose the safe way that you already know everything about or do you take some risks? Did you ever regret your decisions?

In my opinion, a lot of people want to change something in their lives, they want things to become better but they don’t want to do something about it. They want progress but they are afraid of change. They are afraid of the unknown. I think you have to dare something, you have to take some chances to move forward. As the quote says, you just have to jump in and scramble through as well as you can. And this is what I am trying to do.

Quote of the week #7

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

William Shakespeare

Today’s topic is all about names.

Certainly, a rose would be the same if it had another name, although it is the same in German and French, each with a different pronunciation. Anyway, I don’t want to explain the tasks of language here.

What I am more interested in is the names of persons. It is only recently that I have realized that I have an unordinary relation to names, you might even say it’s strange. 
Apparently, the name of another person is something very intimate for me. Of course, this is illogical, as everyone has a name and everyone can call you by that name.
When I meet people and make friends with them, they very soon address me with my name all of the time. I have realized that I actually only call my closest friends with their names and that it takes me a lot of time to address someone with his/her name in real life, but when I do it, I like to do it and mention their names very often.  I don’t think at all it’s inappropriate when people say my name, I think I even like it, it’s just that I don’t do it. For example, someone asks me “[name], do you want to go the cinema tonight?” If I ask that question, I only use the name when it’s a close friend. Maybe I’m crazy.

However, it made me think about names and their importance for us.

At least for me, names indicate a lot of intimacy.

So, what’s in a name?

What does our name mean for us? Is it just a word? Is it us? After all, we identify ourselves with that name.

Would you like to choose another name for yourself? Would that make a difference? How important is the name you choose for your children?

Here’s another quote:

In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.

Hubert H. Humphrey

Things are what they seem to be, but does the name determine what we seem to be? Or does our personality and our behaviour have an influence on how our name seems to be?

What is the cause and what is the result or is it reciprocal in a way? Is there any connection at all?
Would you feel different about yourself if you had a completely different name, would other people expect someone differently? How much of your name determines what you seem to be?

Or, ultimately, does it only depend on who uses your name? Does it not make any difference what your name actually is but what people make out of it?
For that purpose, a last quote. It’s one that I really like and it is from a little child called Billy who was asked to define love. Can you believe he was just four years old?

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Did you ever realize it makes a difference? I did. There are people who pronounce my name in a way I don’t like and there are other people that make it sound valuable.

They make your name sound unique.

Quote of the week #6

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

Gloria Steinem

 

Today, I happened to listen to a song that always reminds me of hope for the future. It was played during our official graduation from school. We had to walk on a red carpet, me and my two best friends together and afterwards we were given our certificates. During that walk the song was played. I remember exactly how I felt that day. We were exceedingly happy to have passed our final exams with good grades. It was our last day as pupils and it felt like our whole future lay ahead of us. After 12 years of school, it was the threshold to a new life. We had so many dreams and hopes. In that moment, we felt as if we could reach anything, as if we could change the world. I know that it was totally exaggerated and unrealistic and it might even seem stupid, but this is what we felt, or it was what I felt. Of course, there is nothing much extraordinary about graduating from school, but for us it was the way to our future, it was like a magic moment. Whenever I listen to that song, it reminds me of that hopeful, exciting feeling and I begin to believe that there is still a lot I can accomplish. It makes me remember my dreams and hopes.

Is it of any good to have dreams? Is it starry-eyed, naïve? Would it be better to not dream at all, to be more realistic?

Is dreaming a way to define and achieve our goals or does it prevent us from living our life?

In my opinion, it is good to have dreams and, as in the quote, it is even a form of planning.
Even if they never come true, at least they give us hope for the future, they make the present a better place. They make us hope for a better future and in some cases they make us do something for this future. Most of the time I am down-to-earth, but in my heart I will never stop having some of those dreams. In my opinion, we should have dreams that are not too unrealistic and then we should try and make these dreams come true.

Do you still have dreams? Did some of your dreams come true when you grew older? Or did you give up your dreams?
Do we change when we grow older? Do we see things in a more realistic way, do our views change?

Well, I think I am still young and I don’t know whether my point of view will change when I am older. Anyway, I don’t feel like that all of the time. There are a lot of days I feel completely different, but I am grateful for those hopeful days.

Quote of the week #5

There is beauty in truth, even if it's painful. Those who lie, twist life so that it looks tasty to the lazy, brilliant to the ignorant, and powerful to the weak. But lies only strengthen our defects. They don't teach anything, help anything, fix anything or cure anything. Nor do they develop one's character, one's mind, one's heart or one's soul.

José N. Harris

What is it that we are all lying, all the time? I don’t want to make an exception for myself here, all I say is that I am trying to avoid lies, but I am sure I have lied many times in my life, as we all have.  

It seems as if people want to be lied to, they enjoy the lies, it seems to me as if there was an unspoken agreement that says we should lie whenever it is possible.

We lie all the time, regardless of what we are talking about. We even lie to ourselves and sometimes we even believe these lies. It seems as if a lie becomes the truth, once it is told often enough.

I sincerely try to tell the truth, or rather I tell what I think to be the truth, as no one can ever be sure what the truth is. However, I have made the experience that the truth is not what people want to hear. Nonetheless, I believe in being honest, it is of value for me.

I really don’t want to say that I am better than anyone, I am not, but this is my point of view and I believe in it. I trust everyone until there is a reason that proves this person should not be trusted, I believe in the good in people and I believe that people tell me the truth, because I would tell them the truth, especially when it comes to friends. Maybe I am naïve, but then be it so. However, once I know about people telling me significant lies, it is hard for me to forgive, it is hard for me to trust them ever again. Honesty and confidence in someone belong together, I trust because I have faith in my friends, but once the honesty is lost, the faith is lost, too.

What is the point of inventing great stories about something that could be told in one little candid sentence? I understand that people do lie sometimes in order to not hurt someone. But if we are totally honest, most of the lies we tell are told because it’s easier than telling the truth, because it seems to be more comforting to ourselves.

First, there are those lies we all agree upon. It’s when someone asks you how you are and you tell him you are fine. You meet people in the street you have not seen for many years, you are both busy and you both agree silently that you do not want to hear of all the problems of the other person.

Then there are the big lies, lies that are told because it is easier to tell them, because we just don’t want to tell the truth, lies told in order to intentionally deceive someone. Lies that we tell because we want to appear better, greater, more successful than we are.  Those are the lies some people even seem to believe for themselves. Besides, there are also lies that are created to make people believe in something that doesn’t exist and the creator knows about their falseness but tells them anyway, lies that are told in order to achieve something, lies that can even be told to a whole state.

Finally, there are even false statements that are told for no apparent reason. They are absolutely unnecessary and they are the reason making me believe that we are all just big liars, that we enjoy the untruth. Why do we tell these lies? Is it because we are afraid of being hurt if we were totally honest? Do we even recognize anymore that we are being dishonest? Is there really an unspoken agreement in not telling the truth? Why can’t we all try to be honest?

Quote of the week #4

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

 

One of my biggest weaknesses is probably that I am a really bad organizer and planner, at least when it comes to my own life. When I ought to do something for others, it is very important for me to be reliable, but when I should plan something in my own life, I tend to be a bit chaotic and spontaneous. As I have explained in some earlier post, I never watch the weather forecasts and just go outside to see how the weather is. That is basically the way I have handled a lot of things in my life. During the last year in particular, a lot of things have changed in my life, I have developed personally and I started making some plans in my life though.

I have noticed that most people feel comfortable in planning everything and that a lot of people don’t like changes of plans. I do understand the reasons for it and I can also see the advantages of planning.

But I still wonder if it is better to schedule every detail in our lives or to take things as they come.

I think one has to distinguish here between things that should be planned and things that we have no influence on.

As I have mentioned before, I used to plan hardly anything, although I have always waited for the future to come, so that I could move away and start my own life. This might seem contradictory, but as I always just had this big plan, I didn’t plan the details that came before.
Nevertheless, I have learned that you should have some plans in your life and that it is nearly impossible to continue with such an attitude that I had, once you are a grown up and once you are fully responsible for your life.

But is it really necessary to plan every detail and most important, is it possible? In my opinion, it absolutely isn’t.

At first, there are things like preparing for a test, for example an exam at university. Obviously, you should know how much time it takes to learn the different topics and then try to learn it continuously and not keep it all for the last day, so scheduling here is necessary.

Secondly, there are the big plans in life. Admittedly, I have to say that I still don’t have concrete plans here. I rather like to see it as options you have in life and ways you would like to continue. For example, I would like to have my own little family one day, but can I really be sure that I will ever find the partner for this? It is also my dream to visit as many places of this world as possible. Furthermore, I want to graduate from university and find a job that I like. But I have no idea about the details yet.

You always have to keep in mind that there is no way of foreseeing the future and things usually don’t turn out as we have expected them to do, so these are rather not my plans but some of my aims in life. At the same time, I can see that it is important to know your options and to have some plans in mind, so that you can try to reach the best possible outcome. Moreover, a good organization is often necessary and helpful to reach your goals.

Besides, it is a great and important thing to have some visions and dreams in life.

So we should have some plans for the important big things in life, but we also have to consider changes and developments, so that we can modify our plans and the way we could reach our goals.

But still I see no point in planning every detail of my life. You can’t plan the little things you have no influence on. There are so much wonderful things to explore every day and I like to keep all options open.
In fact, starting this blog was a very spontaneous decision and when the idea arose in my mind I immediately implemented it. Of course, some planning would have been useful. But on the other hand, without being spontaneous I would never have had this idea.

This is just my personal point of view and I am aware of its great imperfectness. However, as my journey just began, I am sure there will be more development.

Finally, this whole text didn’t completely refer to the quote. But I think it speaks for itself.

Quote of the week #3

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight... the truly wise person is colorblind.

Albert Schweitzer

There are a lot of controversial quotes on this topic and all of them contain something true, but I like this one the most.

Whenever someone asks me whether I am rather an optimist or a pessimist I am not sure what to answer.

What is the best way to see the world?

Is it better to be an optimist or is it easier to be a pessimist? Does it make any difference for our lives, for how many goals we achieve? In my opinion, it does. How we live our lives and how many of our dreams are going to be fulfilled… that depends a lot on our attitude.
I have realized that whenever I dream high, I have higher goals and whenever my goals were higher I did actually achieve a lot more. And to have these dreams results from hoping for the best. Of course, the aims we have in life should still be realistic.

Pessimism is supposed to prevent us from disappointments.  But can you actually enjoy life while seeing the worst part everywhere? Can you even appreciate the little good moments that are so important in life?

Of course, you have to consider the problems in life. But in my opinion, being pessimistic means to not want to change the bad things but to expect them everywhere and take them as they are, when one should rather look for a solution or a way to improve things.

The problem about being optimistic is that one can be disappointed a lot of times, because there will always be bad things in life. There is a great risk that your hopes will not be fulfilled, at least not all of them. But I think an optimist will have more fun in life and he is able to enjoy the good things.

But is always being optimistic even possible, given that there is so much injustice in this world?

Maybe, staying realistic, hoping for the best and knowing about the worst is the best way.

After all, our life is an adventure and it always contains ups and downs and to know the value of the ups there must be the downs.

Finally, a little note out of my life, which could also be seen in a wider context.

A lot of people are greatly interested in daily weather forecasts. I always try to stay informed about everything and I am interested in a lot of things, but the weather report certainly doesn’t belong to these. There are a lot of things that can be changed, even if this seems to be impossible. But one thing that I am sure I have no influence on is tomorrow’s weather and I certainly can’t change anything by watching the weather forecasts in TV. To know about this, I just wait for tomorrow, then go outside and see how the weather is. Call me crazy, but this is how I live.

Moreover, I think there is no need to be either optimistic or pessimistic about tomorrow’s weather. When it is raining, take an umbrella with you, if you don’t have one with you, it’s all right, you are not going to die because of getting wet. As long as there is no hurricane, there is no need to worry. Besides, there are always advantages of rain.

And, you know, the sun will shine again for sure.

Quote of the week #2

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

Marcus Aurelius

I like this quote, since a lot of people don’t seem to recognize that there are different opinions on things they consider as a fact. I think it is always a good way to stay open-minded and to try to understand the other perspectives.

My aim is to post one quote every Sunday that somehow refers to the previous week. I also hope it inspires some people to think about the referred topic. 

Based on a controversy I had a few days ago, today’s topic is about opinions, or rather differences in opinions.

I was having a few arguments with a family member this week, who couldn’t accept me being of another opinion concerning an important topic; the details are not of importance here. Anyway, when I was talking to a friend about it, his advice was to just agree with this person in every point. He said, when I know I am right, all I should say is “OK”. When someone is telling you that the colour of the sky is green, don’t tell him it is blue. Just agree, because you know you are right and disagreeing would just cause troubles.  

I see his point, but nevertheless I had to contradict.
This is just my opinion, of course.

Anyway, who determines what is right and what is wrong? When it comes to laws the answer is obvious, but what about other issues? After all, the problem is that both persons having an argument are convinced of their opinion being the truth. Even if it is obvious that you are right, is it really? It doesn't seem to be for at least one person.

In any case, I think it doesn’t make it any better to agree with someone when you think he is wrong, because this lets him feel confirmed in his thinking. In the following, I am using “the sky is green” as a metaphor for topics that are of greater relevance.

A family or even a whole nation is not able to perform in a good way if their members are not allowed to express their point of view. Just imagine the government told you that the sky was green and nobody disagreed. Imagine you’d get into prison if you told them your opinion. I know that this is happening all over the world and I know that it did happen especially in Germany. But look at this country’s horrible past (I don’t have enough words to explain how terribly shocked I am every time I just imagine it) and you can see what this leads to. People must be allowed to give an opinion without getting punished for it. This is even a human right, which you can find in Germany’s Basic Law now.
Everybody has the right to advance his opinion, as long as it isn’t illegal or a violation of human rights.

Maybe I should have differed in a more accurate way between politics and families, but is there really such a great difference? Families do have their own rules, too. And I think since I am of full age, I should be allowed to say what I think without getting in trouble and without courting their resentment. Provided that I don’t hurt anyone with my opinion, which is certainly not my purpose.

Let’s say I am convinced that that the sky is blue and you are convinced of it being green. Why can’t we discuss it and if we still don’t agree in the end, we just accept the fact of being of another opinion? Wouldn’t this be a good way? And who knows, if you give me persuasive arguments, you might even persuade me to believe that the sky is green.

I am aware that all my above mentioned words are just another opinion. I am convinced by my opinion. However it may seem inconsistent to say that everybody should express his own opinion and that nothing is the truth, because isn’t this just an opinion, too? So what if someone doesn’t agree?

I think you should always consider your counterpart’s point of view. If he has a different one, you should accept this. And you should try to continuously rethink your own point of view. Because after all, is it really possible that you are always right? Maybe the sky is neither green nor blue but purple? Or does it have a different colour for every human being? At the same time, if we are convinced by our opinion, we should definitely defend it using good arguments. After all, what kind of world would this be without opinions and people standing up for them?

But should we really agree on everything someone says in order to avoid a conflict? Can this really be a good solution?

In my opinion, it isn’t.

If you disagree about any of these thoughts, please feel free to tell me. I am always happy to broaden my mind.

Quote of the week #1

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

Shakespeare – Macbeth

This is what Macbeth says when he hears about the death of his wife.

Life is meaningless. We all struggle so hard, but at the end, we all die. And a few decades later nobody will remember you. Unless you’re a famous rock star or something like that. So why do we even work so hard, why do we take such pains in life? I hope that every one of you has his own individual answer to that.

Sometimes, while having a bad day or week, I share Macbeth’s opinion. I wish I could leave something behind, so that people will remember me. It scares me to know that one day I will be gone and forgotten. What is the meaning of my life then?  But then again, I would have to ask myself, why is anybody living? Is life just about the process of living? I mean, animals don’t seem to think about these questions, they just try to survive. So maybe I shouldn’t think too much about this, because nobody will ever be able to give me the utterly truth.