Friday, November 9, 2012

Who would you be?

Everyone has a role model. Who is yours? Who was your role model when you were a child?
If you could be anyone, who would you be?

Every now and then I read questions like these. Every time I think about it, but I don’t have an answer. I think the first role model for little children are their parents. But then comes the time when you realize they are not inerrable. So most children then choose some celebrity as their role model. They have posters hanging in their bedrooms and want to be like them.
I never really had that. In fact, I have never really understood the wish to be like some celebrity.
The point is, people admire them for a certain role they play in a movie or for something they achieve in sports, for example. It is comprehensible that they would like to emulate them in these actions. But, and this is what I have always considered, they don’t know who these people really are. How can you know about their personality? How can you know what they had or have to suffer in their lives? You don’t know who they really are. You only know a little excerpt of their lives. So why do you want to be exactly like them? Furthermore, they are not perfect.  They can’t be because no one is. So I don’t see a point in wishing to be someone else.
Whenever someone asks me who I would like to be if I could choose anyone, I don’t have an answer, at least I can’t think of any specific persons. There are certainly a lot of things I can learn from other people and a lot of things I would like to adopt from others. And surely my life is everything but perfect. But I am who I am. So all I can do is try to improve who I already am instead of wanting to be someone else.
However, I do consider it as reasonable to try to follow certain actions, behaviours or features. It makes sense to admire these. 
When you admire someone for being a good person, it certainly is a good idea to try to be that too, in your own way. If you admire someone for being a good writer, you can try to be become an equally good writer. But you have to try to find your own style.

Nevertheless, I was wondering whether it is even possible not to have any role models. Does everyone have one without even noticing? Do we have many?
A
ren’t there always people we imitate? How else would we learn anything? Or do we invent every action new for ourselves?  

Anyway, I do think people in our environment can have a huge impact on us.
I was sometimes surprised by the influence one's friends can have on one's behaviour. My brother used to have a very changing circle of friends. Every time he had new friends, his taste in music changed (it was easy to say, you could hear it everywhere in the house) and every time he adopted their vocabulary or behaviour. For instance, when he had friends who smoked and drank a lot, he did that too.
This makes we wonder, are we all just a copy of our environment?
Obviously, one’s environment and especially friends can have a huge impact on one’s behaviour. So are we just lucky to have a “good” circle of friends? But then again, don’t we choose our friends?
Did you adapt yourself to become more like your friends, perhaps without even noticing?
Maybe the question should rather be Who are you? instead of Who would you be?

Coming back to the initial question, I always tried to find my own way.
I am not sure whether that is even possible or whether it is just an illusion and actually we are all just a mixture of all the people we meet. After all, I don’t invent any new behaviour, do I? But maybe we can decide which ingredients from which people we choose and consequently become the best result we can.
Certainly there are always people who influence us, our personality, our behaviour. I think it is good or even necessary to have people who inspire us. But in the end, you are an individual and you should make the best out of who you are instead of copying someone else.

Are there any people that inspire you?

Do you have a role model? Do you even want to be someone else?

15 comments:

  1. Tough question about role models. I have admired people over the years but I wouldn't really go as far as to say they are my role models. I have a very good small handful of friends because I see myself as an individual with my own character and personality and they are happy to accept me as I am without question. We are all different and that makes a relationship better I think.

    From the age of 15, when I became responsible for my own self, I learned very quickly that I had to be responsible for my own actions and it was also important to be who I was, providing I was not hurting others (although I'm sure I did along the way).

    Unfortunately, there are people who change every 5 minutes depending on who they are with. I loathe it. I don't get on very well with people like that because they simply have no identity. They are usually here today and gone tomorrow.

    So, my answer to your main question is, I'd rather just be myself. If I become a good role model for someone in the process, I'm well happy. Nice Post again, Kleopatra.

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    1. I agree, if people can't accept you the way you are and want to change you, they are actually not your friends.

      I hate that too. I try to avoid these people.

      You definitely are an individual with your own personality and opinions. I'm sure you would be a good role model. :)
      Thank you!

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    2. I got what you said RPD and Kleopatra- but a little things about "if people can't accept you the way you are and want to change you, they are actually not your friends"

      Sometimes actually it depends- You might have habits that not good or effecting bad- your friends would warn you or notice you. If they don't and get used to it- chances are its a unhealthy things for all of you! But, again, it depends really.

      Accepting what you're- from every other context- is really keeps it healthy!

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    3. I see what you mean and you are actually right. But I absolutely agree that it depends. If friends know about a bad habit or something they consider wrong, they should tell. But then they do so because they care and I think they still basically accept you.
      Thank you for your comment!

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  2. Great post. I put a long post on BC instead of here, but this post almost requires a different answer than your promotional spot there.... Mainly because you mention parents and role models and such. My parents were amazing parents, but I grew up knowing I didn't want to be like them. I think that my life has been defined many times by that, if the idea of the anti-roll model is valid.

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    1. Thank you, Dan. I think to some point our parents define our lives, whether because they are our role models or because we do not want to be like them.

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  3. Kleopatra, love how deep and thoughtful you are. You ask such stimulating questions. I'm one of those diehard individualists who always has to discover everything for himself. I can't even imagine following in anyone else's footsteps. Everything I do has to be my own idea. Not only have I never wanted to be like anyone else, I've never really wanted to be anything at all. In school when other kids would say, I want to be a doctor or a teacher or an artist, all I could ever think of is, I want to be happy. So I knew the path I'd eventually take through life would be down some side road but all my own.

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    1. Thank you!
      I can relate to that, I never really had an idea about how my future would look like. I'm not sure whether everything I do is actually my own idea, but I can't think of someone's footsteps I'd like to follow.
      Your attitude seems to do you good.

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  4. Yes, being inspired by someone else's good deeds or actions or goals is a good thing. :)

    I think there's always someone that inspires us, like in your case this youtuber, I just don't understand when people want to be exactly like someone else.
    Thank you for your comment!

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  5. i can only imagine how busy busy your mind is with all these very thought provoking posts! haha. it really made me think deep about the whole aspect of who i am and wether my friends impacted my "mannerisms"...well so far i cant think of anyone i can call my role model, but i do have lots of people i admire. My parents have definaitly shaped me up but right now it's up to me to fine my own personna. I do agree with what you said about people finding themselves and not tryna be like others. it's good to admire certain attributes in people and even copy the goodones but in the end, it's up to me/us to form our own character. :)

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    1. My mind is also busy with a lot of other things. :)
      I'm glad it made you think deeply. I am sure parents do have a certain impact, but in the end you have to form your own personality.
      Thank you for your comment! :)

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  6. I love to be myself though there are great people who do great works that inspire me but I can't be like them. We are all born unique with much differences from each other and this is what makes us special in our own ways. :)

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    1. Totally agree! :)
      Thank you for stopping by and for your comment! :)

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  7. Great post! As for me, although he is no longer alive, my dad was my role model and inspiration. He grew up in tough conditions, and then, as a young man, fought at D-Day on Omaha Beach and saw all the ravages of war. But later, he became a minister who loved and helped so many other people and also served as an amazing role model for me and my siblings. Thanks again for such an inspirational post!

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    1. Thank you!! That does indeed sound like a great father, it is good to know you had such a wonderful role model in your family.

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